BonerLand

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April 20, 2004

Bad Poetry Part 2: Awful Poetry

Kill Bill Vol. 2 Was Awesome, Man
I sat there in the dark
thinking
Hey, that's that guy from Kung Fu
Oh shit she just ripped that bitches eye out
oh god
I so never want to be burried alive
must learn the three inch punch
like Bruce Lee
She sure isn't killing as many people as that other movie
but I'm almost certain this one is better
the Superman soliloquy was moving
must see again
right now
oh wait I'm at work
well later then

Shitting
Oh I feel weird
better go shit
for good measure
I'm shitting
ugghhhh
oh man
that hurt's
it shouldn't hurt
or maybe...
yeah, it shouldn't hurt
uggghhhh...uggghhhhh
why won't I shit more
I need to shit
I will shit
I wish I had a magazine
oh wait here it goes
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!
whew
I'm getting that one mounted.

Tournament of Losers
The comic store
today there's a tournament
They will taste my wrath
but wait, what's this
no tornament of champions have I found
but just two middle aged fat people
or no wait three
one has a wife
They look at me like I've a penis
grown from my brow
Though they are the ones who are fat
and old
and in a comic book store
I will be them some day
No, never!
I will be way cooler, and not nearly as fat
or stupid
or annoying
they both are all of these
My opponents
the third is a judge
I buy a couple of boosters
as do they
I pulled a bunch of crap
Dormamu...shouldn't he fly?
They try to disarm me
with annoying comments abound
I lose round one on a technicality
They play the second
against each other
I imagine them playing every night at home
ugghh creepy
I'm suddenly glad
my own lady rather hates this game
I beat the woman
with my psychic blast
and some telekenisis
I take home a special Plastic Man
he's disguised as a mailbox
This tournament sucked

I Hate Haikus
Fuck those
They're bullshit
I don't like rhyming either
or spelling correctly
or making any sense
Screw it

Fin

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